Coping with Isolation and Surviving the Loneliness

London is slowly shutting down and it looks likely that we will soon be self-isolating or quarantining like many other countries. These are my small pearls of wisdom for coping with isolation and surviving the loneliness; I hope they might help someone.

My experience of isolation wasn't caused by Coronavirus. It began in September 2018 when I moved to a new job in a small town in Germany. My German was pretty poor, I lived on my own for quite a while, and ended up working alone in an office. There were more days than I wanted during this period where my only social interaction was with the woman at the supermarket checkout. It was tough and I'm relieved it's over, but I learnt some valuable lessons which I'll definitely be using over the coming months.

1. Schedule phone/ Skype/ WhatsApp calls - much like you would plan meeting friends throughout the week, book a time to call. Why book in advance rather than just call? Scheduling a call in advance can help to give your week structure, spaces out social interaction to ensure you don't go too long without it, and it gives you something to look forward to. If you're living alone it's also a great idea to plan them at meal times, it's totally OK to eat together over Skype!

2. Adapt and continue doing the things you love - make sure the extra time you have is a blessing rather than a curse. I love cooking and baking, in Germany I had a lot more free time than I was used to so I quickly learnt that I actually enjoyed spending the whole day baking! I had to adapt my recipes for new ingredients, sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't, but I loved the process of experimenting and learning. Don't stop doing what you love, find a new way to do it at home and savour the time you have to do it.

3. Read a book - rather than binge a series on Netflix. Series and films are a brilliant way to relax but they're over quickly. You can read a book at your own speed; invest in the characters, contemplate the ideas, let your imagination take over. A TV day is great, a TV week gets boring, a TV month is depressing - change it up, pick up a book.

4. Listen to Podcasts - particularly with hosts that make you feel included in the conversation. Some podcasters are brilliant at making their shows feel intimate and building a real community with their listeners. If you're feeling a bit lonely and need some background noise they can be a great quick fix solution. (I'd particularly recommend Ear Hustle, Zigzag, Revisionist History, My Favourite Murder, Squiggly Careers)

5. Try something new - you've now got time to fill, start that hobby you've always thought about. Whether it's learning a new language, knitting, cooking, yoga, or origami! Stock up on any supplies you might need to start it, then take this opportunity to do just that. You can go it alone or find an online community to answer your questions and encourage you. Set yourself realistic targets and you'll feel like you've accomplished something every week.

6. Call or message the person you haven't heard from - you can't predict who will struggle during this time. I've always thought of myself as a resilient person, but during my time in Germany I teetered on the edge for far too long. On my darkest nights picking up the phone myself became too hard, but I looked at it longing for it to ring. For some it might be the anxiety of the impending virus or (like I experienced) the black hole of loneliness that takes them to that dark place, but we're all going through it together so let's make sure no one feels alone.

We're going to lose enough people to Coronavirus without us also losing people to loneliness. I hope me writing this helps you think about preparing for your own mental wellbeing as well as your food cupboard and may you learn from some of my past mistakes. Above all I hope you know you're not alone.